I am your SERVER not your SERVANT!

As I previously wrote I am attempting to figure myself out and fix all the mistakes I have made over the past few years. No, I am not doing as well as anyone from my private high school is 7 years after graduation, but I am trying. And as I have stated before I am always so proud of those who have done well for themselves, but today I honestly can say that most people in this world are miserable despite their accomplishments.

I wait tables in a bar, it actually is a lot of fun; everyone I work with is nice and in general the customers are lovely. Before I begin my rant I have to state that I honestly feel that EVERYONE should attempt working in the service industry for at least a month to see how truly shocking the human race can be. Also in case you all do not know, people in the service industry work of tips. Meaning I make an hourly wage of $2.68 and by the time I get my paycheck state and federal taxes make that check $0.00.  It can be great money, I have made $400 in one shift once, but I have also made close to $10 in one shift. Being in the industry you HAVE to learn how to manage your money, because everyday is a gamble, you can either make loads of money or zero. That being said I cannot tolerate people who do not tip 20%! This is how I make my living and being demeaning, demanding and rude to just tip me 20% or WAY less makes me want to ring your neck!

My whole life I have been a hard worker whether it be a job like this or my internship in college. I work hard and I play hard, it is a part of my nature. Today the bar I work at had a promotion that made certain items on our menu cheaper than most. Needless to say it was SLAMMED and unfortunately for me with extremely cheap and utterly rude human beings. Normally I kill rude customers with kindness, I have been doing this for a while so I know the drill, but tonight I reached my breaking point. One table set there for hours and tipped me $2.00 on a $69.75 tab, I overheard their reasoning for this as being stated as such ‘We are in Med school’. I have a lot of choice extremely vulgar words for these people, but I held my tongue. It is statements like that, that make me doubt people and make me feel like an utter loser. Here I am trying every shift to make ends meet so I can afford my rent, car, bills, health insurance just to be tipped less than 1% by some medical students who feel they are entitled and I am not. After all I am just their server, I am a loser nobody to them. Times like this I just want to scream at people ‘I could be just as ignorant as you and not tip right and being doing extremely well for myself!’ but I never say that. Because let’s face it, they’re right I have done this to myself. I failed and now I must work my butt off every week and deal with other human beings treating me like I am just another stupid waitress.

I am so lost in life and days like today often make me wonder about the ‘What ifs?’ ‘What if I had finished school?’ ‘What if I was able to attend that grad school aboard?’ ‘What if I hadn’t let life consume me and swallow me whole?’ ‘What if?’ ‘What if?’ ‘What if?!?’. I can say all this until I am blue in the face is, but the fact remains I screwed up and I alone need to fix this situation, so I am not treated like this for the rest of my life. But despite all this I think it is only fair everyone out there realizes, I AM SERVER, NOT YOUR SERVANT, so please do not treat me like garbage.

Disclosure

 

FACTS:

  • I am in my mid-twenties.
  • I have failed at finishing school
  • I work in a bar

 

 

Here is the TRUTH about not being like the rest of the 20-Somethings out there, you are not a minority, even though you may feel like you are ALL OF THE TIME! I am sure there are people out there that think I am going nowhere in life and yes if I continue on my current path I probably be like the people my family use to feel bad for. The reason I say this is because I had a bright future. I lived aboard did fairly well in school, but life happens and sometimes it can takeover. Yes, I am about 1 class away from getting my college degree. You read that correctly 1 class away. Why have I not finished? I shall quote the above statement again ‘life happens and sometimes it can takeover’.  I use to be a confident teenager, than an EXTREMLY ANNOYINGLY confident early 20-Something. But things happen and consumed me, leaving me less confident and fearful of every little life step. My family and close friends don’t know about my not having a diploma. The only person who knows is my boyfriend, and he is pretty much the only good thing I have got going for myself now a days. I plan on telling everyone eventually and taking my LAST course, but first I need to conquer my many internal demons I have developed over the past few years.

 

I like to blame lots of things at failing at life my family, my poor choice of men and friends, my over confident early 20 year old self, my childhood. These things change day by day or I mesh them altogether, either or it all comes down to me and no one else. I need to become proactive.

 

Now the reason I wanted to write this blog is because I have found when speaking to friends that I grew up with, or from high school or college, or from anywhere they all feel ashamed of being a lost 20-Something. And social media isn’t helping because all you see are photos of people you knew from the past or currently that are getting GREAT jobs, or their MASTERS, or are getting MARRIED and starting families, while you are living week by week, hoping that somewhere in the dust you will find your way. Yeah it SUCKS that we lost 20-Somethings have not found our life path yet. And in no way am I not proud and happy for those I know who have. It is just hard because as every year passes, 30 is creeping towards me and making me question ‘Who am I?’.

 

I want people to read this blog and pass it along. I will not be posting about this in anyway on my facebook, twitter, or God forbid my instagram. I want people I don’t know to read my rants of being ‘in the middle’ and relate and laugh. Life can be hard and when you are lost and in your mid-20’s sometimes your adventures are worth sharing. So from one Lost 20-something to another….enjoy…..

 

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